Seeking Change

I am in the second semester of my fourth year at J.C. Harmon High School.   For the past two years I have been teaching Strategic Reading and supporting my students and classroom teachers with literacy strategies in the content classrooms.   I was invited to propose a intervention process for struggling adolescent readers, someone listened, and for the past two years that curriculum and intervention process has been used in the 8 middle schools and 4 mainstream high schools in the district.   It has kept me busy, but also intellectually engaged with kids and adults.

During this same time, Emily has found success and connections in high school  This year she is the ads editor on the yearbook, she was in two productions in the drama department,  and she survived two marching bands seasons.   She took two trips this years.  With the yearbook, she traveled to Washington D.C.  With the marching band, she traveled to California to march in a parade, at the Holiday Bowl game, and in Disney Land.   She is now trying to decide if she wants to be involved in the AP or IB programs in her high school.  In order to make this decision, she has to have some future vision of where she wants to go to college and what she wants to commit her life to as an adult.  This is hard talk for a momma to hear.  She is talking about schools that are hours away from home.

Samuel is working his way through the purgatory of middle school.  He has done remarkably well, with only a couple of glitches.  His glitches tend to have more to do with adults who have too much too do or too little actual interest in students.  The lessons were good for Sam as a student and for me as a parent.  We are constantly learning how to navigate this world of public education with personal challenges.   Right now,  Sam is playing basketball for the first season of b-ball supported at the middle school level in his district for 29 years.   He made the B-team.  He was disappointed, for sure. He struggles with the try-out process.  I think he gets too anxious or nervous.  In the games he is much more impressive, but that is too late for making the team he wants.  I he is making the best of it.  There is growth needed.  He will be a better leader and stronger player in many ways.

My Ashley has been out on her own for 8 years.  Emily will be gone, for the most part, in another 2 1/2 , and Sam in 4 1/2.   It seems too soon.  I feel like the business of life, and most specifically of being at teacher, hasn't given me enough time with them.    This school year in particular I spent most of the weekend for the first four months of school in Iowa with my mom while she was in the hospital in Des Moines.   The rest of the time, I was trying to support this TLI (Targeted Literacy Instruction) program.    I am feeling the pull to moderate my existence more, spend more time making memories and living the moments.  I spend so much time checking off lists of things i need to do.    I am in a transitional place.  I "plan" to listen and reflect more as this school year winds down.  I am feeling a pull for change.    I have a difficult time believing God's will for me includes leaving students, but at the same time I am feeling some kind of needed shift.