Get Ready...Get Set....Go

I never seem to have time to finish the "get set" portion of this process.  One day I was teaching Summer Enrichment...then I was entering a school year full of chaos and dysfunction.  In between there were some good family times.  It felt like I was learning to prioritize, but now that the school year has started, it feels like my family is sitting in the back of the bus again.

Between Summer Enrichment and the new year, I visited my sister.  Emily stayed behind and spent more time with them.  Then she went to camp and VBS, then she spent another week with my sister.  I think it was a good summer for her.  Sam and I hung out a lot and enjoyed some field trips together.  We also learned to appreciate the value of Netflix.  We went out during the day and watched MANY old movies in the afternoons. 


NOTE one March 7, 2016 - This blog is unfinished, but I am going to post it just to keep the thoughts and memories recorded.  It was written in 2011.

Seeking Change

I am in the second semester of my fourth year at J.C. Harmon High School.   For the past two years I have been teaching Strategic Reading and supporting my students and classroom teachers with literacy strategies in the content classrooms.   I was invited to propose a intervention process for struggling adolescent readers, someone listened, and for the past two years that curriculum and intervention process has been used in the 8 middle schools and 4 mainstream high schools in the district.   It has kept me busy, but also intellectually engaged with kids and adults.

During this same time, Emily has found success and connections in high school  This year she is the ads editor on the yearbook, she was in two productions in the drama department,  and she survived two marching bands seasons.   She took two trips this years.  With the yearbook, she traveled to Washington D.C.  With the marching band, she traveled to California to march in a parade, at the Holiday Bowl game, and in Disney Land.   She is now trying to decide if she wants to be involved in the AP or IB programs in her high school.  In order to make this decision, she has to have some future vision of where she wants to go to college and what she wants to commit her life to as an adult.  This is hard talk for a momma to hear.  She is talking about schools that are hours away from home.

Samuel is working his way through the purgatory of middle school.  He has done remarkably well, with only a couple of glitches.  His glitches tend to have more to do with adults who have too much too do or too little actual interest in students.  The lessons were good for Sam as a student and for me as a parent.  We are constantly learning how to navigate this world of public education with personal challenges.   Right now,  Sam is playing basketball for the first season of b-ball supported at the middle school level in his district for 29 years.   He made the B-team.  He was disappointed, for sure. He struggles with the try-out process.  I think he gets too anxious or nervous.  In the games he is much more impressive, but that is too late for making the team he wants.  I he is making the best of it.  There is growth needed.  He will be a better leader and stronger player in many ways.

My Ashley has been out on her own for 8 years.  Emily will be gone, for the most part, in another 2 1/2 , and Sam in 4 1/2.   It seems too soon.  I feel like the business of life, and most specifically of being at teacher, hasn't given me enough time with them.    This school year in particular I spent most of the weekend for the first four months of school in Iowa with my mom while she was in the hospital in Des Moines.   The rest of the time, I was trying to support this TLI (Targeted Literacy Instruction) program.    I am feeling the pull to moderate my existence more, spend more time making memories and living the moments.  I spend so much time checking off lists of things i need to do.    I am in a transitional place.  I "plan" to listen and reflect more as this school year winds down.  I am feeling a pull for change.    I have a difficult time believing God's will for me includes leaving students, but at the same time I am feeling some kind of needed shift.

Still Living The Dream...but at Harmon in Year 2

Block 2 English, Harmon Year 1 

I am in my last quarter of my second year at Harmon.  At the same time, I am in my last semester of work for my Reading Specialist.  I am exhausted and overwhelmed, but happy to be in the place....near the end.

I was determined to finish my specialist (and not complete a doctorate now) because Emily is headed to high school and Sam is headed to middle school.  I am headed on the short track toward the empty nest and I don't want to miss a minute of the time I have left to be involved in their lives in a consistent meaningful way.   I am a total failure this year.  I have too many work related responsibilities, three graduate classes while serving in two ministries.  I love working, and I love serving, but I truly love parenting more than anything else.  I often forget that because I am so overwhelmed with the have-to stuff, that I neglect the, often more important, want-to stuff.  I think this may be a common problems for teachers with my obsessive personality.

So as I finish this school year, I am looking to set very different priorities for next school year.  If I narrow it down to the areas that really matter, my family and my students, then my community will benefit more form the focus.

Long Time Gone

I spent my summer as part of the Great Kansas City Writer's Project in the Summer Institute of 2012.  I put this experience off for many years because I didn't want to take from my family's coveted summer adventures.  My babies are now 11 and 13.  My oldest daughter is now 23.  I decided they might like me to be gone some this summer.  Sam and Em spent most of those days with  Ashley at the "All Things Small"" Daycare (you can follow them on Twitter).  Indeed, they were okay with my working through the summer institute while they hung with the cutest kids in the Metro.  We still did hang out quite a bit, but it was time for me to take this opportunity to explore this professional development and make writing instruction better from my freshmen.

When you have an intensive six hours a day, five days a week, for four weeks experience, it seems essential that any new beliefs you have about writing and writing instruction be embedded in your action right away.  One of the things I have always believed, and believe even more strongly now, is that the more you read the better you read and the more you write the better you write.  I already read a whole heck of a lot.  I decided I needed to get back to the practice of writing a whole heck of a lot more.  I started out strong.  I got a flash drive where I intended to record my writing as I committed to writing about 30 minutes a day.  One of the things I wanted to do is to get on to paper all those crazy stories I tell my students.  So for one, okay maybe two days,  I wrote down some of those stories.    That was about 2 months ago.   

I got back to my classroom and all the responsibilities I tend to accept, and the writing returned to it's location in the basement of my priority structure.   I do write with my students, and I love doing that.  I may even start to post those shaky efforts here, but I've rejected the practice of sitting in the quiet of my personal space and writing my stories in honest and authentic ways.  

I have four blogs.  Yes, FOUR blogs.  It occurred to me that each as a purpose I can use as a way to motivate my writing.  The intention behind this blog has always been to work out the thoughts and feeling, successes and failures of mixing urban education with passionate parenting.  So I asked Emily to join me here.  She will be the new manager of this site.  She will post pictures and the occasional post.  Mostly, I am hoping this collaboration will help remind me to write and be reflective about those two things I love most...teaching and parenting.   

Emily, Ashley, Sam and Mom - Memorial Day 2011.  We all still miss Grandpa. 

Ending 2010-2011

The school year for me is essentially over.  My students promoted to freshmen yesterday.  My Emily and my Samuel are now 5th and 7th graders.  Mike and I will be delving back into the world of raising a middle schooler again.   So many habits and general patterns of thought are solidified in middle school, so I have a lot of praying to do over the next 4 years until they both get through the time.   They are both doing well in school.  I am so proud of how they have handled the changed and actually grown in very positive ways from it.  Although Maranatha offered so much good biblical education that they needed to make the right choices, it has also been a blessing to escape some of the negatives of that situation.  

We are finding our way through public education while holding tight to our faith.  Some of that has been difficult with the loss of grandpa.  Grandpa John was such a positive influence.   We've had to replace the losses of our lives with other positives.  That hasn't been easy for me.  The loss of John has left a huge hole I didn't deeply anticipate. Gratefully,  Ashley and Kreisa do help just by being such good people and putting up with me.

God is faithful:  He will make a way. We are finding our way at Central Church to replace the biblical instruction  and  fellowship lost by changing schools and churches.  We are also trying to help grandma make her way in this world without her guide and protector.  That has already been a challenge with some unwanted adventure.

I also don't know what my job is next year.  Many adventures still lurk.  What would life be without the anticipation of the unknown?

Focusing on the POSITIVE

Second week down for 2010-2011, and we're focusing on the positive.  I am finally not behind.  I worked 12-15 hours a day for two weeks, but my grades are in and my planning is on track.  Mr. Goering, who teaches one block of reading, is completely unneedy, which is nice.  He doesn't know the content, but he knows instruction.  Real teachers can teach anything.  That must mean I am not a real teacher, because I don't think ANYONE would learn if I taught science.  Gratefully, Mr. Vasquez is doing that.  He's very upbeat ans seems to be confortable.  Chmids is teaching math. She has a very different perspective on things, but she is solid and I love her.  Although I MISS Bobbitt and Mesa so much it is painful somedays, it is nice to have a team that where everyone trying to be effective and collaborative.  I know as we move along, I will further appreciate this team and realize more deeply that Mesa and Bobbitt are serving better where they are. I still have Mr. Smith here and he reaffirms my belief in character and integrity everyday.  It will be nice to get together with the guys and not have our jobs in common.  I was a very different teacher.  Although they were always so supportive of my "giftings,"  there were days that it brought hard feelings (mostly unspoken, but not always).   In my heart, I believe we have a group of cools human beings in our building;  they just need solid leadership and TRUE vision, not just one that sounds good and looks impressive on the wall.  Northwest kids must not continue to suffer under the legacy of NW mismanagement.   We have a chance, I hope we take it.

On the home front,  I am trying to find my house.  My kids are tired from undersleeping every night.  I hope to get them back on track this week.  They tend to stay awake until I can read with them or tuck them in.  Sometimes, I find that pressure overwhelming when I got a million work things to do, but it would be more overwhelming if they stopped wanting me in their lives that way.  Emily has been riding with me.  That is fun.  I can't go as fast, but it is nice to have the company.  I bought her and Emily those super nice bikes, and they have hardly used them.  I am going to sneak over and steal Ashley's because it cost twice as much as mine and she doesn't use it.  I am going to ride the Tour de Shawnee tomorrow and the MS 150 in two more weeks.  After that, I hope Em and I will keep riding, but once the pressure of training is over, I tend to get lazy and put on my winter 15.   I would love to avoid that this year.  I take my shoes to school so I can run the stairs, but I never have time to do that.  I'll figure it out because it sure has been nice to get back to better shape.  It got a lot harder to do once I gave up youth ministries: no more mountain climbing or building houses in the 115 degree Mexican heat.  Those were the days. 

Well, I am off to meet with Susan Hodges about backward design.   I am sure I will learn more than I can give her.   Later.

Sickness in the Summer

It has finally occured to all of us that the main reason we are having such a hard time dragging ourselves through a day is that we all have similar flu like symptoms (that passed to our friend, Kreisa) that include a sour throat, acheness in and around the head and serious fatigue.  Yesterday I could barely drive home with my eyes open.  Today, I fell asleep in the car in the driveway while listing to the end of a chapter of a book we're listening to.  One more day this week and we are off onto a crazy weekend with father's day, four birthdays, a baseball game, and a baby shower.  Those weekends drive me crazy.

On a brighter note,  the Summer Enrichment experience has been positive.  I think the kids really are learning and using their 21st century skills.  I am trying to constantly expose them to new tech-based learning experiences so they can be leaders of these activities in the fall.  As an extra bonus for me, I am also going to have them design and construct the bulletin boards for the beginning of the year.  One less thing for me to get done during that crazy time.  Sam and Em start school the same day I do, so I can not take them to their first day of public school.  I can't explain how sad that makes me.  I know they will be fine, but I want to SEE them be fine.  Since only 11 of the teaching staff has been retained, I know that the expectations of leadership will be exaggerated as we try to redefine/restructure this first year.  I still plan to ride in the MS 150.  I also plan to leave for 2-3 days so I can go on a cruise with the family during thanksgiving.  Overall, I am just hoping my desire to make my family a priority will fit into an increased need for me to seriously lead my grade level team.  I think the first IMPORTANT step is to just take some time OFF.  Read , relax, and recover.  Yes, that is the most important first step.

We're finally at the end of a two week marathon of extra district work.  Week one was spent collaborating on an 8th grade pacing guide with the district consulting firm.  In our second week of "summer vacation,"  I started teaching an enrichment class in the morning and complete a 21st century skills "camp" in the afternoon.  For some reason this process made all of us very tired.  This pic of Emily and our pal, Raymond, represents the beginning of some kind of summer ahhh.  For the next three weeks Emily will join me and my 8th grade students in the enrichment class focused on project-based learning and 21st century skills.  That will be only half days. In the afternoons, we are going to keep up on our math skills &  finish up a couple of novel series (Percy Jackson,  Haddix's Missing Series, and the final installment of the Hunger Games, Mockingjay).  We also plan to paint all the wood work, repaint the landing upstairs, go swimming, see afternoon movies, go to some museums (Em's begging to go to the WW1 museum again), and have our friends over to hang out.  I do have a couple of new objectives for my 8th graders that need to be roughed out for next year, but that must be secondary to my kids this summer.  We are preparing our hearts and minds for a lot of changes in the next year, and we want to be rested and and ready.  July is our totally free month and I plan to document the fun here so we can remember it when we are stressed and crazy in the fall.  To be continued....

Summer Mode

Okay, we are in summer mode.  I start an endless barrage of meetings next week to help the district transition into the era of a new superintendent.  Her goal is to improve instruction and merge the ACT concepts with the state indicators (aka: our benchmarks).  After that I get to participate in a workshop where we create ideas for teaching 21st century skills in the classroom with the ACT requirements.  This coincides with the start of a Summer Enrichment Workshop with my own kids in my own classroom.  This simply means no endless days of summer school remediating students with which I have no relationship and no background knowledge of their actual skill (other than their grades from 2009-2010).  I hate to admit it, given my true love of teaching, but summer school is excruciating.  I made a promise to myself, and sort of to my kids, that I wouldn't teach summer school in this district.  My work load during the year is so challenging to my family time, that the summer is supposed to be theirs.  I am getting better at saving my off-time for them, but we need the money.  Reality is almost always less fun than our fantasies.  However, with my oldest daughter's new home and daycare, my kids have a safe and less expensive home for the 1/2 days I will be doing the enrichment.  I will also be less drained (I hope) with this option of hangin' with my own students and creating theater productions.  I hope it is as fun as it sounds.  I could use some low-key fun.  I am not typically good at keeping things on my end low stress.  My mind set is the more work I do outside the class, the easier life is inside the class.  Not a concept that is popular in my home.

On a side note, all of my closest collegues have been transferred out of my building as part of the restructuring our urban middle school is enduring.  We made AYP but had to go through restructuring anyway as part of the Raise for the Top grant from Obama.  Since we are in the lowest 5%, I guess AYP is too little too late.  My kids...actually, all 7th graders, did rock the test and out scored our goal by another 18%.  We are shooting for 75% next year, even without the students who are leaving to head for the arts and science academy.   Letters and postcards are going out claiming our school will truly be a college prep school.  I am hoping that is not more rhetoric.  I am praying that the resources in our part of the city will truly be equal and a difference can truly be made for the kids in our neighborhood.  

Well, off to shop with my girls and plan all the summer home projects.  Later.

Am I Living the Dream?

Here we go. A blank sheet...

Each day as I drive to work, I pray for my family and my students....after I thank God that He made my dreams come true and prepared me (sometimes through fire) for the best job in the world. I am a public school teacher to urban middle schoolers. If you don't think that is a dream job.....then keep watching.