The Extras

The last couple days I have been reading this book.  It has been on my pile of "wanna read" books, but I got motivated because I saw the movie on the shelf at the video store.  I try to get a book read before I see the "based on" movie.  I like to form my own mental pics and create my own emotional attachment to plot and characters.  I sat on the porch today on a beautiful breezy day and finished the book with lots of tears.  Something about the end hit me hard even though I expected it.  I like what I read in a book about the mistakes teachers make while teaching literature.  The author stated that books are rehearsals for life.  As we read a book we are not only reading about the actions of characters, but it is a mental reheasal for how we might handle the same situations.  In this book, the father is raising his amazing son during the worst of what we could imagine in an apolcalypic world.  Throughout their journey the child never loses his desire to maintain goodness and kindness in a world without it.  As a parent,  I couldn't help but ask myself what I would do as the parent making some of the choices that needed to be made.    
      One thing I am trying to do with my summer, in addition to the things that need to be done, is to take the time to enjoy some me time and take care of myself a little.  This is not intended to be as selfish as it sounds, but I often read articles that talk about  how even the most passionate teachers get burnt out because they never truly take time off.   I don't want to be that person, but I struggle to take time off.  I am always thinking of the next thing I can get done either for school or for my family.  The reality is that if I don't take a breath, I am afraid I will lose my enjoyment of both of those things.  So I am trying to work in those things I love to do.  I had fogotten how much I love my bike, and recently I have missed riding more than ususal.  Some of that may be guilt for not riding more when I promised to ride with my sister in the MS150 again after a three year break.   I went out tonight.  It was hard in the 90 degree weather and my heart rate monitor was constantly singing about me going over the high end of my range, but I did get a good workout.  I am ready to get back at it more regularly.  Walking doesn't get your ready for a bike.  I just need to get my butt on that bike each day.  At 40, I think exercise is a necessary part of me keeping up with all the things I want to do.  I am reminding myself that this is important for me so I can stay valuable for all the people I love.

Sickness in the Summer

It has finally occured to all of us that the main reason we are having such a hard time dragging ourselves through a day is that we all have similar flu like symptoms (that passed to our friend, Kreisa) that include a sour throat, acheness in and around the head and serious fatigue.  Yesterday I could barely drive home with my eyes open.  Today, I fell asleep in the car in the driveway while listing to the end of a chapter of a book we're listening to.  One more day this week and we are off onto a crazy weekend with father's day, four birthdays, a baseball game, and a baby shower.  Those weekends drive me crazy.

On a brighter note,  the Summer Enrichment experience has been positive.  I think the kids really are learning and using their 21st century skills.  I am trying to constantly expose them to new tech-based learning experiences so they can be leaders of these activities in the fall.  As an extra bonus for me, I am also going to have them design and construct the bulletin boards for the beginning of the year.  One less thing for me to get done during that crazy time.  Sam and Em start school the same day I do, so I can not take them to their first day of public school.  I can't explain how sad that makes me.  I know they will be fine, but I want to SEE them be fine.  Since only 11 of the teaching staff has been retained, I know that the expectations of leadership will be exaggerated as we try to redefine/restructure this first year.  I still plan to ride in the MS 150.  I also plan to leave for 2-3 days so I can go on a cruise with the family during thanksgiving.  Overall, I am just hoping my desire to make my family a priority will fit into an increased need for me to seriously lead my grade level team.  I think the first IMPORTANT step is to just take some time OFF.  Read , relax, and recover.  Yes, that is the most important first step.

We have been pretty tired and run down this week.  It makes no sense given that we had a three day weekend and minimal physical excersion.  Monday we could barely get our heads out of bed. We intended to come right home and rest, but we went to the books store after school and found this frustrating puzzle of the world.  Today, Emily seems to be sick, maybe the flu.  As if Monday morning wasn't challenging enough, we decided to get up early and go to Bob Evans for breakfast with our free coupons from the "Blue Crew"(2nd pic) It was a good effort, but the breakfast probably didn't warrant it.   When I picked Sam from Ashley's,

where it seems he is being a pain, he wanted to go home and watch Edward Scissorhands. I hope we will all take a nap soon.  Sam has a 6:00 game.  His season has been short on W's, but it is the first year for many and I think they are improving.  It is stressful for parents to watch the guys battle through every game.  I hope they are having fun.  They would probably be okay with most of the boys if they could just practice together and never play a game.

    
This weekend we have 3 birthdays and a baby shower.   Who knows what that will mean for the spoiled summer vacationers in the house.

Summer To-Do List Underway

As I mentioned in my last post,  summer is underway and it has a long list of family-related to-dos.  Emily is well on her way to conquering some of our book list.  She is seen here reading the second installment of Haddix's Missing series called Sent.  This week we also finished listening to A Wrinkle in Time.   Emily loved it and, fortunately, we already have the second book in that series.  I don't think I even realized that book was the first in a series.   I ordered some books for Sam about heroes in American history.  When a nine-year-old boy picks up a Webster's dictionary and asks if you know this was started by Noah Webster, you have to follow-up on that interest.  He is the first small child I have known in ages that openly professes his love of history.  I have to give Maranatha credit for that.  One thing private schools do so much better than public schools is teach American history.  More importantly they teach about our heroes (of every culture in America) so that our kids can see themselves in the power of the individual. Actually,  I think the focus of teaching heros is to see God's power through the individuals.

Speaking of the power of the individual,  on Friday we went to Cinemark to see the newest version of the Karate Kid.  We took our friend Connor. This pic was taken before the movie.  After the movie, Connor couldn't keep both feet on the ground at the same time because he was so enthusiastic about all the Kung Fu he saw in the movie.  Actually,  even Emily and I wanted to at least join a kick boxing class after watching that movie.  It is more about the power of the focus and discipline than kicking someone in the ribs.


I am back at work on Monday.   However, one class for 3 hours a day is a lot less daunting than the regular school day expectations.  Since I invited the kids who come to enrichment, I know them well and we get some fun things done. 

We're finally at the end of a two week marathon of extra district work.  Week one was spent collaborating on an 8th grade pacing guide with the district consulting firm.  In our second week of "summer vacation,"  I started teaching an enrichment class in the morning and complete a 21st century skills "camp" in the afternoon.  For some reason this process made all of us very tired.  This pic of Emily and our pal, Raymond, represents the beginning of some kind of summer ahhh.  For the next three weeks Emily will join me and my 8th grade students in the enrichment class focused on project-based learning and 21st century skills.  That will be only half days. In the afternoons, we are going to keep up on our math skills &  finish up a couple of novel series (Percy Jackson,  Haddix's Missing Series, and the final installment of the Hunger Games, Mockingjay).  We also plan to paint all the wood work, repaint the landing upstairs, go swimming, see afternoon movies, go to some museums (Em's begging to go to the WW1 museum again), and have our friends over to hang out.  I do have a couple of new objectives for my 8th graders that need to be roughed out for next year, but that must be secondary to my kids this summer.  We are preparing our hearts and minds for a lot of changes in the next year, and we want to be rested and and ready.  July is our totally free month and I plan to document the fun here so we can remember it when we are stressed and crazy in the fall.  To be continued....

Summer Mode

Okay, we are in summer mode.  I start an endless barrage of meetings next week to help the district transition into the era of a new superintendent.  Her goal is to improve instruction and merge the ACT concepts with the state indicators (aka: our benchmarks).  After that I get to participate in a workshop where we create ideas for teaching 21st century skills in the classroom with the ACT requirements.  This coincides with the start of a Summer Enrichment Workshop with my own kids in my own classroom.  This simply means no endless days of summer school remediating students with which I have no relationship and no background knowledge of their actual skill (other than their grades from 2009-2010).  I hate to admit it, given my true love of teaching, but summer school is excruciating.  I made a promise to myself, and sort of to my kids, that I wouldn't teach summer school in this district.  My work load during the year is so challenging to my family time, that the summer is supposed to be theirs.  I am getting better at saving my off-time for them, but we need the money.  Reality is almost always less fun than our fantasies.  However, with my oldest daughter's new home and daycare, my kids have a safe and less expensive home for the 1/2 days I will be doing the enrichment.  I will also be less drained (I hope) with this option of hangin' with my own students and creating theater productions.  I hope it is as fun as it sounds.  I could use some low-key fun.  I am not typically good at keeping things on my end low stress.  My mind set is the more work I do outside the class, the easier life is inside the class.  Not a concept that is popular in my home.

On a side note, all of my closest collegues have been transferred out of my building as part of the restructuring our urban middle school is enduring.  We made AYP but had to go through restructuring anyway as part of the Raise for the Top grant from Obama.  Since we are in the lowest 5%, I guess AYP is too little too late.  My kids...actually, all 7th graders, did rock the test and out scored our goal by another 18%.  We are shooting for 75% next year, even without the students who are leaving to head for the arts and science academy.   Letters and postcards are going out claiming our school will truly be a college prep school.  I am hoping that is not more rhetoric.  I am praying that the resources in our part of the city will truly be equal and a difference can truly be made for the kids in our neighborhood.  

Well, off to shop with my girls and plan all the summer home projects.  Later.

Transition

My little school, with its status as consistently low performing, is going through some difficult changes.  The majority of the teaching staff,  with the exception of eleven teachers,  has been transferred to other buildings in our district.  Some are headed for middle school positions and some are transitioning to high school.  For the summer our school is going into her cocoon and hoping to be reborn in the fall as a beautiful butterfly.  I will acknowledge that sometimes purging is necessary so there is room for growth, but it is not an easy process for anyone.  As we have learned, person by person, who is going and who is staying, gossip and speculation have become part of the daily schedule.  However, overall,  the unspoken reality is worry and fear of the unknown.  Earlier in the year, when I expressed some of the frustration described in this blog, I thought I would be the one moving on.  I wanted a change and even a new challenge, and frankly, a break from many frustrations of trying to do the work a several people while raising my kids.  Ultimately, I decided my students deserved my loyalty and commitment to see them through their last year at this school.  Selfishly,  I came to the obvious realization, that my closest friends are here and the risk of starting over without, them seemed to daunting.  Ironically, they will be leaving me instead.  As we come to the last three days of school for the year, my heart is honestly a little heavy.  I see real potential for great changes at our middle school, but I will miss my friends so much.  I am not a person who constructs deep friendships easily.  It is hard to find people I feel safe to both laugh and cry with.  All the people with which I have developed some of that safety will be moving on.  I am trying to keep my heart and mind wide open, because the most jarring reality is....this is not about me.   This is about the students.  Most of me knows that this change could be immeasurably good for them and the students of the future.  I am going to try to have the faith I talk so much about. Sometimes that is the only choice you have. 

On the home front, my kids are trying to transition into summer. I am trying to find a way to work and make extra money to keep us afloat, while not eating up all of their summer days.  I will be writing curriculum in two different groups and teaching a summer enrichment class in reader's theater.  More than anything, my marriage needs my attention...now.